haha...im having my last laugh

haha..hurt? im so hurt rite nw..just wanna take it cooly though.....never felt like this b4......it hurts like an arrow piercing thru my heart...im nt quite definite bout hw i feel...but i do knw tht im preety badly hurt....im chatting with her nw..she loves ben...expected it..sometimes i realize tht nobody is meant to be perfect..so far i gt everything of my dreams xcept this...so its fair to say tht no one is perfect..all with their own flaws..hey ben, promise me tht i will have in the next life or so..if we have one....gosh.love her so much..still do....haha..laughing while crying nw..yeap..it is strange to find me in tears....gosh..it feels like my heart broke...i knw its hard for her n him to tell me frm the beginning...coz he knws i love her so much..n she knws hw i really love her so much....i gotta stop crying nw...really have to...ohh gosh..i cant stop...shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "she makes me happy..i knw where i'll be..rite by ur side girl....she is the one"...i guess tht wont work anymore...haha...laughing n crying....really am doin it...wow lot of strange stuff happening....gosh i just so freaking love her...nw..who do i look up to..im a jerk thts for sure...its hard to get over it...really hard to get over it....i do love her so so so much...and i just do....i can keep saying this on and on..coz i do...hahha...dear God...why?? thts all i can answer u...WHY? yeah..i preety much get it ...im a jerk..a real stupid jerk...her date of anniversary with him is 21st of may/june..nt sure...but its 21st.....hahaha...tears are flowing like mad nw...oh steph..why?? i do love u so much....just love u frm the very beginning...im nt handsome lah..thts y....i knw guys like me..its so tensed up...gosh love her so much..nw she's in love with my best friend...n tht is something i cant stand..wow...i hope i will take it fine..coz i still am crying over it...sigh..crying..n crying n crying....n here we go again...why???? why?? can anybody answer me pls??? why??? was it wrong to love u...was it wrong to have my heart solely for u...was it wrong to care for u??/ i still love u no matter wat happens...and i am gonna keep my promise...till then...dear mei yen..u are no more mine..i cant call u mine nw...but i love u till the very end of strand of my hair...althouhg i feel like a fool nw...bt i do love u across my heart..love u like every cells frm my body...love u like every DNA is my cells...love u like every matter on earth...love u like every grains of sands....love u like heaven...,love u like the deep ocean...love u like the rainbow n certainly love u the way i always do....crying still nt wearing off...ohh gosh....

manda is wrong...

well my dearest friend manda disagrees tht having a relationship in highschool is totally absurd...i start to reminisce my days of love...i met an angel long time ago...n the chill she gives me everytime i see her...gosh..its explicable...i knw tht it is nt a fake love coz i love B2 (her nickname).. she just gives me goosebumps each time i see her...to be honest...frm education wise to music..she just taught me a lot...REAL LOT...yes i truly undestand tht love does happens during our hey-days in our teenage life or to many,since primary school...but nt all of them are pure...the feeling im having is different..we're talking bout 13 years of love...its really a long time to digest...and my love for her just gets stronger..sometimes,she just gives me heart attack...seriously...yes i do get jealous at times..thnx to the manly 'ego' genes i have in me...but the fact still remains clear..i do love her..since small....it's just so hard to explain in words...she knws about it..but we're quiet bout it...sometimes its easy to fall in love and hard to fall out of it UNLESS u're really serious bout it..i have plans for her in future too...hhahha..all in my mindset...i have 7 dreams in life...so far i have accomplished 5...the remaining 2 is all in her hands...coz i really hope she becomes a part of my life...if things turn out the other way, i will only accomplish 5 dreams...i guess im one of those many people who have dreams..so that i dnt run off course....nothing is more peaceful n blissful than true love..coz once u've experienced it,u knw u're just gonna have an awesome life with tht very person who means a lot to u...

hey mei yen! love u alot...(sometimes we have short conversations at nite....although its annoying,but i appreciate it..coz somewhere in tht 'cute' little heart of urs,i knw im there)..just want u to knw tht i am so proud of u no matter what it turns out to be..but i promise to love u until the wedding...(hopefully i dnt die by then)..i wanna catch ur wedding..in HD! hahah either me in tht story or some other dude in the main role..i wanna see it all in HD!

It's funny when i remembered that we were all just barely a teen..However it's astounding to where we have come in life...every day we meet our turning points in life..no, its not dy/dx..its a point where things just change solely because everyday has its own brand of uniqueness..the moment we step into that that gate,the moment we step into that door and the moment we step into one's heart, EVERYTHING is just different everyday..and with that differences,we touch hearts everyday; may it be sad or happy..it's like a bonding..a tough and sincere bonding that relates us to why we are here in the first place..to act together and to stand together..not one man can live alone by himself..that is why THE EVER AMAZING GOD made a companion..to cherish one's heart..to open up to different perspectives..and definitely to just share moments which lasts forever..even if we were cursed to have a certain degree of flaw which results in amnesia,those moments are treasured in our hearts forever..Lately;i've been attending youth (SPC) n stuffs n all..playing music has ever fascinated me to swirl in the world of my own..BUT sometimes,i do notice, i don't just make myself happy..I make people happy as well...every note that is being played somehow seems to find their ears in a spectacular symphony..like a drug..just tantalizing hearts...this is how i touch people's hearts..this is my story..this is my life..im the only editor..i write it...i compose it..i live it..i dwell in it..and i definitely ROCK IT - my way! ..one thing's for sure,i know i'll be remembered because i remember others as well..Not that i cre so much,it's the heart..the only reason why histories exists..the only reason why there's everyone..the only reason why success is brought about..IT'S THE HEART...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzoiTk6oSKw

Girl: Do you really love me?
Boy: Of course I do.
Girl: I wanna hear you say it.
Boy: I don’t have to.
Girl: Why not?
Boy: Because...
Girl: I just want to hear you say it in words.
Boy: I can’t...
The girl started to cry softly and said:
Then you don't love me...
The two continued to walk in silence. They
reached the girls home.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Do you really want to know?
Girl: (hesitantly) Yes.
He hugged her gently, kissed the tip of her nose
and whispered in her ear,
"Because three words are not enough"

sometimes love isn't just bout words...just a simple heart drawn on apiece of paper is romantically enough to get you through everything..that's the beauty of LOVE...

A Freshie???

...not..Well it started back in 2006 actually..myspace draught me near to this world of pity and curiosity of blogging or randomly expressing words so to say...well..to me,my MySpace is officially dead..God knows what happened to it...i cant remember the password...yeap..the fact i'm getting old can never be denied...well...i hope i start on the right note...blogging is hard work..i ain't a person who showers and flourish words from biblical times to our latest flash mobs..i'm just simple and ordinary..too much twisting of words can cause death...im like 18 now...actually soon-to-be 18..my birthday is just around the corner...well it is a big deal to me...18 years on earth..gosh! that's a lot of histories i've made...wonder when my history would end? ohh why on earth would i give a DAMN...just follow the flow..yeah!!!...hoping to see myself write more of this blogs...."a carpenter is never to old for his equipments".... till then,it's me checking-out from here!