haha...im having my last laugh

haha..hurt? im so hurt rite nw..just wanna take it cooly though.....never felt like this b4......it hurts like an arrow piercing thru my heart...im nt quite definite bout hw i feel...but i do knw tht im preety badly hurt....im chatting with her nw..she loves ben...expected it..sometimes i realize tht nobody is meant to be perfect..so far i gt everything of my dreams xcept this...so its fair to say tht no one is perfect..all with their own flaws..hey ben, promise me tht i will have in the next life or so..if we have one....gosh.love her so much..still do....haha..laughing while crying nw..yeap..it is strange to find me in tears....gosh..it feels like my heart broke...i knw its hard for her n him to tell me frm the beginning...coz he knws i love her so much..n she knws hw i really love her so much....i gotta stop crying nw...really have to...ohh gosh..i cant stop...shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "she makes me happy..i knw where i'll be..rite by ur side girl....she is the one"...i guess tht wont work anymore...haha...laughing n crying....really am doin it...wow lot of strange stuff happening....gosh i just so freaking love her...nw..who do i look up to..im a jerk thts for sure...its hard to get over it...really hard to get over it....i do love her so so so much...and i just do....i can keep saying this on and on..coz i do...hahha...dear God...why?? thts all i can answer u...WHY? yeah..i preety much get it ...im a jerk..a real stupid jerk...her date of anniversary with him is 21st of may/june..nt sure...but its 21st.....hahaha...tears are flowing like mad nw...oh steph..why?? i do love u so much....just love u frm the very beginning...im nt handsome lah..thts y....i knw guys like me..its so tensed up...gosh love her so much..nw she's in love with my best friend...n tht is something i cant stand..wow...i hope i will take it fine..coz i still am crying over it...sigh..crying..n crying n crying....n here we go again...why???? why?? can anybody answer me pls??? why??? was it wrong to love u...was it wrong to have my heart solely for u...was it wrong to care for u??/ i still love u no matter wat happens...and i am gonna keep my promise...till then...dear mei yen..u are no more mine..i cant call u mine nw...but i love u till the very end of strand of my hair...althouhg i feel like a fool nw...bt i do love u across my heart..love u like every cells frm my body...love u like every DNA is my cells...love u like every matter on earth...love u like every grains of sands....love u like heaven...,love u like the deep ocean...love u like the rainbow n certainly love u the way i always do....crying still nt wearing off...ohh gosh....

manda is wrong...

well my dearest friend manda disagrees tht having a relationship in highschool is totally absurd...i start to reminisce my days of love...i met an angel long time ago...n the chill she gives me everytime i see her...gosh..its explicable...i knw tht it is nt a fake love coz i love B2 (her nickname).. she just gives me goosebumps each time i see her...to be honest...frm education wise to music..she just taught me a lot...REAL LOT...yes i truly undestand tht love does happens during our hey-days in our teenage life or to many,since primary school...but nt all of them are pure...the feeling im having is different..we're talking bout 13 years of love...its really a long time to digest...and my love for her just gets stronger..sometimes,she just gives me heart attack...seriously...yes i do get jealous at times..thnx to the manly 'ego' genes i have in me...but the fact still remains clear..i do love her..since small....it's just so hard to explain in words...she knws about it..but we're quiet bout it...sometimes its easy to fall in love and hard to fall out of it UNLESS u're really serious bout it..i have plans for her in future too...hhahha..all in my mindset...i have 7 dreams in life...so far i have accomplished 5...the remaining 2 is all in her hands...coz i really hope she becomes a part of my life...if things turn out the other way, i will only accomplish 5 dreams...i guess im one of those many people who have dreams..so that i dnt run off course....nothing is more peaceful n blissful than true love..coz once u've experienced it,u knw u're just gonna have an awesome life with tht very person who means a lot to u...

hey mei yen! love u alot...(sometimes we have short conversations at nite....although its annoying,but i appreciate it..coz somewhere in tht 'cute' little heart of urs,i knw im there)..just want u to knw tht i am so proud of u no matter what it turns out to be..but i promise to love u until the wedding...(hopefully i dnt die by then)..i wanna catch ur wedding..in HD! hahah either me in tht story or some other dude in the main role..i wanna see it all in HD!